Red Neck Tips
GENERAL
 
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
 
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
 
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
 
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
 
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will,
    it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
 
DINING OUT
 
1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
 
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
 
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
 
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
 
2. Do not allow the dog to eat from the table...no matter how good his manners are.