The Calf

 

A west Texas cowboy was herding his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a 
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young 
man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out 
the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and 
calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" 
 
 
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his 
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?" 
 
 
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it 
to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he 
calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on 
 
his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the 
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital 
photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in 
Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot 
that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses a 
MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of 
complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry 
and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a 
full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer 
and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and 
calves." 
 
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the 
cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on 
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the 
 
cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your 
business is, will you give me back my calf?" 
 
 
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" 
 
 
"You're a consultant for the National Democrat Party." says the cowboy. 
 
 
  "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No 
guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though 
nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 
question I never asked; and you don't know anything about my 
business........ Now give me back my dog."